Have you ever just been sitting around and heard a song that really took you back and time and made you really reflect on things. That is me today. It had nothing to do with the words, and everything to do with a time in my life that was so much different then it is now. There are a few songs that really do that to me. I have to Praise God for so many wonderful memories because my life is really full of them. Then I kick myself for other memories, the ones that have been created out of my humanity and past mistakes. Those are the ones I look back on and cry over. I know that I can't change them, but I'm trying to get a grip on the fact that those mistakes don't make me who I am. That's something I've never understood before. I was sitting around thinking and I started telling myself that those mistakes have helped make me into the person I am today, but that's not true. I realized that God is the one making me into the person I am today. It really has nothing to do with me or my screw ups. I mean I still mess stuff up and I am by no means perfect, but I am in the Image of Christ and He lives in me. The person who makes all the wrong choices is giving up her life because she has seen the Glory of The Most High King. He has chosen to reveal himself to me and I can't run from it.
I have been so down these last few weeks, and when I'd cheer up or realize I was being silly, something else would happen and I would return to being depressed again. I pray for God to deliver me from that. I am so blessed by Him, and I pray He would help me to continue to remember that.
Mel
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
As promised...
So I've managed to get a little down time (I have been goofing off for the last hour or so by the way), I'm not reading like I should be so I figure I'll update my blog.
First off...
As a group of us sat in a basement and talked about truth being revealed, God gave me a revelation. I know it sounds kind of silly, but I have always had a horrible struggle as a Christian because I could never figure out how to change myself. I feel guilty because I don't read my Bible and pray. I can go on these kicks like "okay this time it's for sure, I'm gonna read my Bible and pray EVERY day. I'm going to really do it this time." And I do, for about 3 days. Then I just run out of time and get busy with other stuff and get really mad at myself for not sticking to it.
Sunday we talked about Application vrs. Implication. Application being that actions would equal change in us (ie. if we were to pray every morning then one day we would become the kind of person who wants to pray) and Implication being change in us equals action (ie. God reveals to us the importance of communication with him through prayer and because of that truth being made known to us, we set aside time every day to pray because God has shown us what prayer means). I've never gotten it. I've honestly struggled with it for a really long time and I have pages in my journal about just that subject. I will promise God that it will be different each time and then apologize every time that I screw it up, when in reality, that's all we can do without Him. I have never known another way to do it though, you know? But when God revealed to me that it's Him that does it, finally, it just clicked. "
The full reality of the truth of Jesus Christ is in me." When Mike made the comment about the softball team, it really just got me. (Sorry if I butcher this quote Mike) "There is no such thing as a Christian softball team. If you are on it, then Christ is on the team because we have died and Christ lives in us. We represent Christ where ever we are." Wow. Like when I go to the store, that's Christ going to the store, you know? I don't know if that makes much sense, but I die to myself and Christ lives through me?! This statement really changes things for me. People see the way I do things and they can either see Christ or they can see me. It sucks that a lot of the time I screw that up and I make people see me instead of Him, but the thought that they do see Him? Wow, it blows me away.
Some other things that Mike said that really go me were "What truth has God revealed to you? How have you responded to that truth? And if this is the truth, how does that change the way we live?" I have been seriously working through these questions and trying to answer them with raw honesty. I think it has really made me learn a lot and it's been weighing very heavily on my heart and mind. It's really changing me.
Secondly...
I talked to Hilary on Sunday after church for quite a while. It was a really awesome conversation. Let me start off by telling you that she is just a really awesome person. I mean most of you who read this blog know her, but if you haven't really had a good conversation with her, you should. She is an amazing person with a lot of insight :). I feel so incredibly blessed to have her, Ryan, Meagan, and Andy here with us at Make New. They are all so wonderful. So anyway, our conversation consisted of talk of parents, the future, worth, value, and "backwards planning". She really said a lot of things that made me think and gave me some wonderful ideas and insight (as she seemingly has a lot of that to offer :). I really felt a lot better about stuff and I walked away from our conversation with my head a little clearer. I really am glad we have such an amazing family at Make New. I love all of you so much.
Third...
I just wanted to give praise to God. He has truly taken care of me this week. He has provided for me and even did extra stuff that really made me feel wonderful. Not only am I going to be able to pay my bill that is due on the 15th, but he has provided me with a dress to wear to my cousin's wedding that will only cost me $5! I mean I know that probably sounds stupid and girly to most of you, but it was such a blessing to me. My friend is giving me a gift card for Christmas (I know it's May, but we're a weird bunch :)! And it's $25, and it just so happens that JC Penney (where the gift card is for) is having a 50% sale on their dresses! And I went yesterday and found two different ones that looked beautiful! (I won't be able to pick them up until Saturday and so I wanted to find 2 in case one was sold out). But I have 4 weddings to go to this summer and I honestly didn't have any dresses to wear. God is so amazing.
Finally...
Just wanted to give a shout out to some of the people who really made my week:
Kitty- I'm so glad I have you around, you're such an awesome friend and I love you so much!
Jon aka J-dogg - Thanks for being there when I need you. You're an awesome friend and that myspace message still stands.
JT and DT- I am sorry that Dave didn't get the jobs out of state... sort of. I would miss you guys so much and I am SO glad you're sticking around.
The Edwards Children- You are seriously four of the sweetest, most awesome kids ever!
Mike and Sherry- God uses the two of you to bless people more than you know.
Jackie- I'm so glad we get to hang out now. I love getting to see you and I'm so glad things are working out so well for you.
Sara D- I wish you knew how much seeing and hearing from you brightened up my day. You are truly one of the best people I know.
Ryan and Hillary- You both are so stinkin awesome. I'm glad you moved here.
Kathy and Rachel- What the heck would I do without you two?!?
That's all for now,
Love all of ya!
Meliss
First off...
As a group of us sat in a basement and talked about truth being revealed, God gave me a revelation. I know it sounds kind of silly, but I have always had a horrible struggle as a Christian because I could never figure out how to change myself. I feel guilty because I don't read my Bible and pray. I can go on these kicks like "okay this time it's for sure, I'm gonna read my Bible and pray EVERY day. I'm going to really do it this time." And I do, for about 3 days. Then I just run out of time and get busy with other stuff and get really mad at myself for not sticking to it.
Sunday we talked about Application vrs. Implication. Application being that actions would equal change in us (ie. if we were to pray every morning then one day we would become the kind of person who wants to pray) and Implication being change in us equals action (ie. God reveals to us the importance of communication with him through prayer and because of that truth being made known to us, we set aside time every day to pray because God has shown us what prayer means). I've never gotten it. I've honestly struggled with it for a really long time and I have pages in my journal about just that subject. I will promise God that it will be different each time and then apologize every time that I screw it up, when in reality, that's all we can do without Him. I have never known another way to do it though, you know? But when God revealed to me that it's Him that does it, finally, it just clicked. "
The full reality of the truth of Jesus Christ is in me." When Mike made the comment about the softball team, it really just got me. (Sorry if I butcher this quote Mike) "There is no such thing as a Christian softball team. If you are on it, then Christ is on the team because we have died and Christ lives in us. We represent Christ where ever we are." Wow. Like when I go to the store, that's Christ going to the store, you know? I don't know if that makes much sense, but I die to myself and Christ lives through me?! This statement really changes things for me. People see the way I do things and they can either see Christ or they can see me. It sucks that a lot of the time I screw that up and I make people see me instead of Him, but the thought that they do see Him? Wow, it blows me away.
Some other things that Mike said that really go me were "What truth has God revealed to you? How have you responded to that truth? And if this is the truth, how does that change the way we live?" I have been seriously working through these questions and trying to answer them with raw honesty. I think it has really made me learn a lot and it's been weighing very heavily on my heart and mind. It's really changing me.
Secondly...
I talked to Hilary on Sunday after church for quite a while. It was a really awesome conversation. Let me start off by telling you that she is just a really awesome person. I mean most of you who read this blog know her, but if you haven't really had a good conversation with her, you should. She is an amazing person with a lot of insight :). I feel so incredibly blessed to have her, Ryan, Meagan, and Andy here with us at Make New. They are all so wonderful. So anyway, our conversation consisted of talk of parents, the future, worth, value, and "backwards planning". She really said a lot of things that made me think and gave me some wonderful ideas and insight (as she seemingly has a lot of that to offer :). I really felt a lot better about stuff and I walked away from our conversation with my head a little clearer. I really am glad we have such an amazing family at Make New. I love all of you so much.
Third...
I just wanted to give praise to God. He has truly taken care of me this week. He has provided for me and even did extra stuff that really made me feel wonderful. Not only am I going to be able to pay my bill that is due on the 15th, but he has provided me with a dress to wear to my cousin's wedding that will only cost me $5! I mean I know that probably sounds stupid and girly to most of you, but it was such a blessing to me. My friend is giving me a gift card for Christmas (I know it's May, but we're a weird bunch :)! And it's $25, and it just so happens that JC Penney (where the gift card is for) is having a 50% sale on their dresses! And I went yesterday and found two different ones that looked beautiful! (I won't be able to pick them up until Saturday and so I wanted to find 2 in case one was sold out). But I have 4 weddings to go to this summer and I honestly didn't have any dresses to wear. God is so amazing.
Finally...
Just wanted to give a shout out to some of the people who really made my week:
Kitty- I'm so glad I have you around, you're such an awesome friend and I love you so much!
Jon aka J-dogg - Thanks for being there when I need you. You're an awesome friend and that myspace message still stands.
JT and DT- I am sorry that Dave didn't get the jobs out of state... sort of. I would miss you guys so much and I am SO glad you're sticking around.
The Edwards Children- You are seriously four of the sweetest, most awesome kids ever!
Mike and Sherry- God uses the two of you to bless people more than you know.
Jackie- I'm so glad we get to hang out now. I love getting to see you and I'm so glad things are working out so well for you.
Sara D- I wish you knew how much seeing and hearing from you brightened up my day. You are truly one of the best people I know.
Ryan and Hillary- You both are so stinkin awesome. I'm glad you moved here.
Kathy and Rachel- What the heck would I do without you two?!?
That's all for now,
Love all of ya!
Meliss
Hey everyone
I've been running around getting some stuff done, but there is a post coming! Just for a preview it has to do with what we talked about Sunday (application vrs. implication) and a deep conversation I had with a good friend about where my life was going and what I was going to do about it. So hopefully I'll get that done for ya today. And please pray for Kitty. I love her very much and she is really sad about some things with her family right now. It's hard to see your best friends hurting, but I trust God to bring her through this.
Love you guys.
Melissa
Love you guys.
Melissa
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Encouragment when I need it the most
Kathy: i am praying for you every day for a job
me: Thanks
Kathy: will keep my ears peeled
me: I'm getting super depressed about not having one and no one seems to want to hire me. I'm sure it will be fine though
Kathy: your job is out there...
God has it already planned
me: Thanks Kathy
Kathy: we will continue to pray and seek Him for the direction to find it!
Sunday, April 29, 2007
On a Kick
Every once in a while I go a little nuts and get on a kick of trying to get my life together. Seems silly I know. I just so happen to be on one of those kicks now. I am seriously searching for a full time job so I can move out of my parents house into my own place and get a car that's a bit... well, more reliable than the one I drive now. I am also having the WORST time trying to pick a major and stick with it. Though the more research I do on Sociology, the more I fall in love with it. I now just have to pick a minor to really stick with. And to be quite honest, I'm thinking about double-majoring in Poli-Sci and going to law school. I know it sounds crazy, but it's something I've always really wanted to do. Not for the money, but as something I actually really like and that I'm pretty good at. I've always dreamed to be "one of the good guys" you know? I would love to use it to help with the international stuff I want to do later in life. I am really passionate about India. Like I know it's something that everyone hears from me once in a while, but it's not something that ever really leaves my mind. I really feel called by God to be there for some reason. The culture, the people, I just feel so drawn to it. I know I kept talking about how I wanted to go there next year, but with much prayer and thought, I feel God leading me to something more. I need to graduate from college first, so it may very well be 10 years before I get there, but I know I'm going. It feels good to be able to say I know where God wants me, even if I don't know how or when I am going to get there or even what I am going to do once I do get there. I am thinking of going to Wayne state in the fall, that is if I can get everything in my life in order by then. My goal is to move out of my house and have a new car by my birthday. That gives me 4 months to be settled. I want to pay off all my credit cards and start saving money. If ANYONE knows of a full time office job that I could apply for, please let me know. I have tons of customer service experience (you tend to get that way when you are a receptionist at a busy tax office because every one wants to yell at you :) and I love doing it :). I dunno. I just feel like I really need to get things in motion. I feel really driven. I hope this lasts.
In other news...
Just want to let everyone know that the moment you say you don't want a boyfriend EVERY GUY in the FREE WORLD hits on you. Seriously I decided that I don't want to date at all for a while (because like I said, I am trying to get my life and everything in it in order). But honestly, I have never been hit on so much in my life. Sitting down and really thinking about all the things I have going on, I realized that I just don't have time for a serious relationship in my life right now, and once I said okay, I'm not available, EVERYONE has been hitting on me. It's ridiculous.
Two of my classes are over for the semester!! YAY! After this last tuesday class this week no more school until the fall! Woo-Hoo! It is such a wonderful, welcomed break. Working 50 hours a week and going to school full time was CRAZY! I'm so glad it's done with. Hopefully this will be my last week not working and it'll just be like a vacation. I have 4 books I'd like to read and a season of 24 to finish.
I hear Ryan is starting up Theology class soon. I can't wait for that. Class I will really actually enjoy :) I love learning when it's things that I'm actually interested in. Well I have printed out a bunch of papers on classes and curriculum sheets I want to read and I'm gonna watch 24 for a little bit before I head off to Jon's for the Wrestling Pay-per-view at 8.
Love you guys! And thanks for reading :)
Mel
In other news...
Just want to let everyone know that the moment you say you don't want a boyfriend EVERY GUY in the FREE WORLD hits on you. Seriously I decided that I don't want to date at all for a while (because like I said, I am trying to get my life and everything in it in order). But honestly, I have never been hit on so much in my life. Sitting down and really thinking about all the things I have going on, I realized that I just don't have time for a serious relationship in my life right now, and once I said okay, I'm not available, EVERYONE has been hitting on me. It's ridiculous.
Two of my classes are over for the semester!! YAY! After this last tuesday class this week no more school until the fall! Woo-Hoo! It is such a wonderful, welcomed break. Working 50 hours a week and going to school full time was CRAZY! I'm so glad it's done with. Hopefully this will be my last week not working and it'll just be like a vacation. I have 4 books I'd like to read and a season of 24 to finish.
I hear Ryan is starting up Theology class soon. I can't wait for that. Class I will really actually enjoy :) I love learning when it's things that I'm actually interested in. Well I have printed out a bunch of papers on classes and curriculum sheets I want to read and I'm gonna watch 24 for a little bit before I head off to Jon's for the Wrestling Pay-per-view at 8.
Love you guys! And thanks for reading :)
Mel
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Catchin up
There are so many people in my life I'm thankful for. I am so blessed by God to have such good friends. People who are literally irreplaceable. I am so dumb sometimes and I seriously take them for granted. People who I don't see that often that when we do hang out or talk everything just picks right back up like we saw each other yesterday. There are people who genuinely care about me and when I sit and realize that it's such an amazing feeling. And I have so many people in my life that I sincerely look up to. I sat around a table with 3 women that I look up to probably more than anyone a couple of weeks ago after church and I listened to them talk about things that they struggle with in life and I was just so encouraged. They are going through so much, all of them are at such difficult times in life with everything that is going on and they just sat there and talked about how much they trusted God. What amazing women. All I could do is listen and think that I wish I could be like them. They KNOW that God is going to take care of them and their families no matter what. I can barely cope with the things I'm going through and they just seem so minuscule compared to what they are dealing with. And it was so awesome to watch them all comfort each other. Being there was truly a gift from God.
On a different note, tax season is over in 2 weeks and I will be jobless and broke again. If anyone knows of a receptionist or office job that they'd let me know about I'd REALLY appreciate it. I need to find one ASAP. Being broke is never something enjoyable.
In other news... God is amazing. Seriously thanks for praying for me for my test. It was so great. I was the second person finished and I'm confident I got at least a B if not better. It was great. I really thought I was going to bomb it. I worked my ass off for like 3 days and for some unknown reason I seemed to have retained all of the information that I looked at. It was totally God. I picked John Piper's Desiring God up again and I've been reading that (which is amazing because I haven't been able to read anything since tax season started). Such a great book. I really want to start Searching For God Knows What by Donald Miller, but I'm not sure if I'll have time to read two books right now. I'm probably gonna try though ;). I went to the movies and FINALLY saw 300 yesterday. Dave Todd was right. It was AMAZING! One of the best movies I've seen in a LONG time. I talked about it for hours after it was over. Everyone would switch topics and then out of no where I'd be like "But OH MY GOSH that movie was SOOO AMAZING!" And it was great hanging out with Craigory. That guy is the best. Really. He was teaching me to Salsa dance in Meijer. I'm so glad we're friends.
EXCITING NEWS... I have 3 weddings to go to this summer. I'm pretty stinkin' excited I'm not gonna lie. I just found out my cousin is getting married to his girlfriend in May. And then Brynne and Adam are getting married June 19th. And MY SARAH is getting married June 30th! I can't wait for their weddings! They're going to be amazing :). Those are going to be some beautiful brides ladies and gentlemen! So I'm going shopping on Saturday for new clothes and accessories! :) I can't wait!
Well that's all for now. :) HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!!!
On a different note, tax season is over in 2 weeks and I will be jobless and broke again. If anyone knows of a receptionist or office job that they'd let me know about I'd REALLY appreciate it. I need to find one ASAP. Being broke is never something enjoyable.
In other news... God is amazing. Seriously thanks for praying for me for my test. It was so great. I was the second person finished and I'm confident I got at least a B if not better. It was great. I really thought I was going to bomb it. I worked my ass off for like 3 days and for some unknown reason I seemed to have retained all of the information that I looked at. It was totally God. I picked John Piper's Desiring God up again and I've been reading that (which is amazing because I haven't been able to read anything since tax season started). Such a great book. I really want to start Searching For God Knows What by Donald Miller, but I'm not sure if I'll have time to read two books right now. I'm probably gonna try though ;). I went to the movies and FINALLY saw 300 yesterday. Dave Todd was right. It was AMAZING! One of the best movies I've seen in a LONG time. I talked about it for hours after it was over. Everyone would switch topics and then out of no where I'd be like "But OH MY GOSH that movie was SOOO AMAZING!" And it was great hanging out with Craigory. That guy is the best. Really. He was teaching me to Salsa dance in Meijer. I'm so glad we're friends.
EXCITING NEWS... I have 3 weddings to go to this summer. I'm pretty stinkin' excited I'm not gonna lie. I just found out my cousin is getting married to his girlfriend in May. And then Brynne and Adam are getting married June 19th. And MY SARAH is getting married June 30th! I can't wait for their weddings! They're going to be amazing :). Those are going to be some beautiful brides ladies and gentlemen! So I'm going shopping on Saturday for new clothes and accessories! :) I can't wait!
Well that's all for now. :) HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!!!
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
A list or two....
Things I really need....
A New Car
An apartment
Good Credit so I can get the two things listed above
A new perspective
A vacation
Things I really want...
A toy tiger (a kitty!)
Curious George the movie on DVD
A Razor
An Itunes music card
More time
Just sayin...
A New Car
An apartment
Good Credit so I can get the two things listed above
A new perspective
A vacation
Things I really want...
A toy tiger (a kitty!)
Curious George the movie on DVD
A Razor
An Itunes music card
More time
Just sayin...
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