Have you ever just been sitting around and heard a song that really took you back and time and made you really reflect on things. That is me today. It had nothing to do with the words, and everything to do with a time in my life that was so much different then it is now. There are a few songs that really do that to me. I have to Praise God for so many wonderful memories because my life is really full of them. Then I kick myself for other memories, the ones that have been created out of my humanity and past mistakes. Those are the ones I look back on and cry over. I know that I can't change them, but I'm trying to get a grip on the fact that those mistakes don't make me who I am. That's something I've never understood before. I was sitting around thinking and I started telling myself that those mistakes have helped make me into the person I am today, but that's not true. I realized that God is the one making me into the person I am today. It really has nothing to do with me or my screw ups. I mean I still mess stuff up and I am by no means perfect, but I am in the Image of Christ and He lives in me. The person who makes all the wrong choices is giving up her life because she has seen the Glory of The Most High King. He has chosen to reveal himself to me and I can't run from it.
I have been so down these last few weeks, and when I'd cheer up or realize I was being silly, something else would happen and I would return to being depressed again. I pray for God to deliver me from that. I am so blessed by Him, and I pray He would help me to continue to remember that.
Mel
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
As promised...
So I've managed to get a little down time (I have been goofing off for the last hour or so by the way), I'm not reading like I should be so I figure I'll update my blog.
First off...
As a group of us sat in a basement and talked about truth being revealed, God gave me a revelation. I know it sounds kind of silly, but I have always had a horrible struggle as a Christian because I could never figure out how to change myself. I feel guilty because I don't read my Bible and pray. I can go on these kicks like "okay this time it's for sure, I'm gonna read my Bible and pray EVERY day. I'm going to really do it this time." And I do, for about 3 days. Then I just run out of time and get busy with other stuff and get really mad at myself for not sticking to it.
Sunday we talked about Application vrs. Implication. Application being that actions would equal change in us (ie. if we were to pray every morning then one day we would become the kind of person who wants to pray) and Implication being change in us equals action (ie. God reveals to us the importance of communication with him through prayer and because of that truth being made known to us, we set aside time every day to pray because God has shown us what prayer means). I've never gotten it. I've honestly struggled with it for a really long time and I have pages in my journal about just that subject. I will promise God that it will be different each time and then apologize every time that I screw it up, when in reality, that's all we can do without Him. I have never known another way to do it though, you know? But when God revealed to me that it's Him that does it, finally, it just clicked. "
The full reality of the truth of Jesus Christ is in me." When Mike made the comment about the softball team, it really just got me. (Sorry if I butcher this quote Mike) "There is no such thing as a Christian softball team. If you are on it, then Christ is on the team because we have died and Christ lives in us. We represent Christ where ever we are." Wow. Like when I go to the store, that's Christ going to the store, you know? I don't know if that makes much sense, but I die to myself and Christ lives through me?! This statement really changes things for me. People see the way I do things and they can either see Christ or they can see me. It sucks that a lot of the time I screw that up and I make people see me instead of Him, but the thought that they do see Him? Wow, it blows me away.
Some other things that Mike said that really go me were "What truth has God revealed to you? How have you responded to that truth? And if this is the truth, how does that change the way we live?" I have been seriously working through these questions and trying to answer them with raw honesty. I think it has really made me learn a lot and it's been weighing very heavily on my heart and mind. It's really changing me.
Secondly...
I talked to Hilary on Sunday after church for quite a while. It was a really awesome conversation. Let me start off by telling you that she is just a really awesome person. I mean most of you who read this blog know her, but if you haven't really had a good conversation with her, you should. She is an amazing person with a lot of insight :). I feel so incredibly blessed to have her, Ryan, Meagan, and Andy here with us at Make New. They are all so wonderful. So anyway, our conversation consisted of talk of parents, the future, worth, value, and "backwards planning". She really said a lot of things that made me think and gave me some wonderful ideas and insight (as she seemingly has a lot of that to offer :). I really felt a lot better about stuff and I walked away from our conversation with my head a little clearer. I really am glad we have such an amazing family at Make New. I love all of you so much.
Third...
I just wanted to give praise to God. He has truly taken care of me this week. He has provided for me and even did extra stuff that really made me feel wonderful. Not only am I going to be able to pay my bill that is due on the 15th, but he has provided me with a dress to wear to my cousin's wedding that will only cost me $5! I mean I know that probably sounds stupid and girly to most of you, but it was such a blessing to me. My friend is giving me a gift card for Christmas (I know it's May, but we're a weird bunch :)! And it's $25, and it just so happens that JC Penney (where the gift card is for) is having a 50% sale on their dresses! And I went yesterday and found two different ones that looked beautiful! (I won't be able to pick them up until Saturday and so I wanted to find 2 in case one was sold out). But I have 4 weddings to go to this summer and I honestly didn't have any dresses to wear. God is so amazing.
Finally...
Just wanted to give a shout out to some of the people who really made my week:
Kitty- I'm so glad I have you around, you're such an awesome friend and I love you so much!
Jon aka J-dogg - Thanks for being there when I need you. You're an awesome friend and that myspace message still stands.
JT and DT- I am sorry that Dave didn't get the jobs out of state... sort of. I would miss you guys so much and I am SO glad you're sticking around.
The Edwards Children- You are seriously four of the sweetest, most awesome kids ever!
Mike and Sherry- God uses the two of you to bless people more than you know.
Jackie- I'm so glad we get to hang out now. I love getting to see you and I'm so glad things are working out so well for you.
Sara D- I wish you knew how much seeing and hearing from you brightened up my day. You are truly one of the best people I know.
Ryan and Hillary- You both are so stinkin awesome. I'm glad you moved here.
Kathy and Rachel- What the heck would I do without you two?!?
That's all for now,
Love all of ya!
Meliss
First off...
As a group of us sat in a basement and talked about truth being revealed, God gave me a revelation. I know it sounds kind of silly, but I have always had a horrible struggle as a Christian because I could never figure out how to change myself. I feel guilty because I don't read my Bible and pray. I can go on these kicks like "okay this time it's for sure, I'm gonna read my Bible and pray EVERY day. I'm going to really do it this time." And I do, for about 3 days. Then I just run out of time and get busy with other stuff and get really mad at myself for not sticking to it.
Sunday we talked about Application vrs. Implication. Application being that actions would equal change in us (ie. if we were to pray every morning then one day we would become the kind of person who wants to pray) and Implication being change in us equals action (ie. God reveals to us the importance of communication with him through prayer and because of that truth being made known to us, we set aside time every day to pray because God has shown us what prayer means). I've never gotten it. I've honestly struggled with it for a really long time and I have pages in my journal about just that subject. I will promise God that it will be different each time and then apologize every time that I screw it up, when in reality, that's all we can do without Him. I have never known another way to do it though, you know? But when God revealed to me that it's Him that does it, finally, it just clicked. "
The full reality of the truth of Jesus Christ is in me." When Mike made the comment about the softball team, it really just got me. (Sorry if I butcher this quote Mike) "There is no such thing as a Christian softball team. If you are on it, then Christ is on the team because we have died and Christ lives in us. We represent Christ where ever we are." Wow. Like when I go to the store, that's Christ going to the store, you know? I don't know if that makes much sense, but I die to myself and Christ lives through me?! This statement really changes things for me. People see the way I do things and they can either see Christ or they can see me. It sucks that a lot of the time I screw that up and I make people see me instead of Him, but the thought that they do see Him? Wow, it blows me away.
Some other things that Mike said that really go me were "What truth has God revealed to you? How have you responded to that truth? And if this is the truth, how does that change the way we live?" I have been seriously working through these questions and trying to answer them with raw honesty. I think it has really made me learn a lot and it's been weighing very heavily on my heart and mind. It's really changing me.
Secondly...
I talked to Hilary on Sunday after church for quite a while. It was a really awesome conversation. Let me start off by telling you that she is just a really awesome person. I mean most of you who read this blog know her, but if you haven't really had a good conversation with her, you should. She is an amazing person with a lot of insight :). I feel so incredibly blessed to have her, Ryan, Meagan, and Andy here with us at Make New. They are all so wonderful. So anyway, our conversation consisted of talk of parents, the future, worth, value, and "backwards planning". She really said a lot of things that made me think and gave me some wonderful ideas and insight (as she seemingly has a lot of that to offer :). I really felt a lot better about stuff and I walked away from our conversation with my head a little clearer. I really am glad we have such an amazing family at Make New. I love all of you so much.
Third...
I just wanted to give praise to God. He has truly taken care of me this week. He has provided for me and even did extra stuff that really made me feel wonderful. Not only am I going to be able to pay my bill that is due on the 15th, but he has provided me with a dress to wear to my cousin's wedding that will only cost me $5! I mean I know that probably sounds stupid and girly to most of you, but it was such a blessing to me. My friend is giving me a gift card for Christmas (I know it's May, but we're a weird bunch :)! And it's $25, and it just so happens that JC Penney (where the gift card is for) is having a 50% sale on their dresses! And I went yesterday and found two different ones that looked beautiful! (I won't be able to pick them up until Saturday and so I wanted to find 2 in case one was sold out). But I have 4 weddings to go to this summer and I honestly didn't have any dresses to wear. God is so amazing.
Finally...
Just wanted to give a shout out to some of the people who really made my week:
Kitty- I'm so glad I have you around, you're such an awesome friend and I love you so much!
Jon aka J-dogg - Thanks for being there when I need you. You're an awesome friend and that myspace message still stands.
JT and DT- I am sorry that Dave didn't get the jobs out of state... sort of. I would miss you guys so much and I am SO glad you're sticking around.
The Edwards Children- You are seriously four of the sweetest, most awesome kids ever!
Mike and Sherry- God uses the two of you to bless people more than you know.
Jackie- I'm so glad we get to hang out now. I love getting to see you and I'm so glad things are working out so well for you.
Sara D- I wish you knew how much seeing and hearing from you brightened up my day. You are truly one of the best people I know.
Ryan and Hillary- You both are so stinkin awesome. I'm glad you moved here.
Kathy and Rachel- What the heck would I do without you two?!?
That's all for now,
Love all of ya!
Meliss
Hey everyone
I've been running around getting some stuff done, but there is a post coming! Just for a preview it has to do with what we talked about Sunday (application vrs. implication) and a deep conversation I had with a good friend about where my life was going and what I was going to do about it. So hopefully I'll get that done for ya today. And please pray for Kitty. I love her very much and she is really sad about some things with her family right now. It's hard to see your best friends hurting, but I trust God to bring her through this.
Love you guys.
Melissa
Love you guys.
Melissa
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Encouragment when I need it the most
Kathy: i am praying for you every day for a job
me: Thanks
Kathy: will keep my ears peeled
me: I'm getting super depressed about not having one and no one seems to want to hire me. I'm sure it will be fine though
Kathy: your job is out there...
God has it already planned
me: Thanks Kathy
Kathy: we will continue to pray and seek Him for the direction to find it!
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