Life Moves On

So Jon and I had "the talk" on Sunday night. It went really well. He didn't say much. I did a lot of yelling. I really just got everything off of my chest. I told him that I didn't want things to be sugar coated and I just wanted us to be honest with each other from here on out. Things that had been harboring inside of me for a long while. It's nice that it's finally over. I think our friendship is going to benifit immensely with the change in status. He was really cool about all of it and let me get a ton of things off my chest, not just about us, but about life in general for me. That's how I know he's really a true friend. I told him to f-off and he still sat and listened to me. I am thankful for his friendship, and I'm glad that I finally know that we're never going to be together. I told him that and he agreed that it was a good idea. I thought it would hurt more. It was like closure, a chance to move on with life. I feel so much better about things. Last night I went to his house to hang out and we ended up talking about our relationships with other people. He told me about a girl he was liking. I thought before that it would be a big issue because it would be really hard to hear. It wasn't at all actually. We're not going to end up together, so yeah, he's going to date and marry another girl. Before that statement would have made me cry, now it actually makes me smile. I have a chance to start focusing on God. I love God so much. He really takes care of me.

Right now I'm listening to Watermark's last gathering on iTunes on my computer. It's cool that I can still hear the service even on the other side of the state. I really want to move over there. I want to get out of the Downriver, but I just don't think it's going to happen. I have to trust in God though. I know that He is going to continue to take care of me. He's really been showing up in amazing ways in my life. I know that I really need to start working hard on my relationship with Him. He is so important, I know now I can't sit Him on the back burner of my life. Pray for me. Pray I will be what God is calling me to be. Sometimes I can't sleep at night because I think of all the things I know I should be striving toward for God and I, for lack of a better word, am being a slacker. I know that He wants to turn me into who He sees when He looks at me, but I'm selfish and I won't let Him. He really has started to change my heart and I want that to begin to show on the outside now. Well I'm gonna get some sleep, I've also got some stuff to get done.


Spears